A Day Without A Dutch Immigrant


I wanted to take a day off yesterday in solidarity with other immigrants like myself but I didn’t know what the rules were for not showing up for work.  My family emigrated from the Netherlands back in the middle of the nineteenth century, so technically that makes me part of an immigrant family. Is there a statute of limitations on being an immigrant?  Is 150 years too long?

Now I admit, we Dutch have assimilated quite well into American culture since fleeing the oversexed, drug smoking, heroin shooting, land of our forefathers. We mostly look like other people. Well, maybe a little taller. And a little blonder. Although I will admit we get a little strange for a couple of weeks in May when we wear weird clothes, uncomfortable wooden shoes and make visiting dignitaries sweep our streets. And then we dance in the shoes. Which hurts like hell. But, being Dutch, we just smile and bear the pain. 


Trust me, these people are in pain. 

It would have been better if the Day Without Immigrants would have been next Friday for a couple of reasons. 

1.  Taking that day off would have led into a nice long weekend. Seriously, the person who set up this day must not work for the U.S government because if he or she did they would have totally made it a Friday or a Monday. Ever notice that every government holiday is on a Monday?  Why else would people celebrate Presidents’ Day or Columbus Day?  Cuz they get a long weekend!!

2.  Having it next Friday would have worked better for me also because not only could I have stood out with my fellow immigrants, I could have used the time to go to the doctor and get my usual three month Lupron shot and find out how things are going with the good ol’ PSA. Because as of right now, I have tried to get that day off twice this month and have been denied both times. Maybe if it were some sort of holiday for Dutch people I could get it off. Because, apparently being an immigrant is more important than having cancer. And I only have 270 more vacation hours to burn this year. 

Have a good holiday weekend!

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